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Saturday, September 18, 2021

Angry Droid is Pretty C-3PO’d Right Now

Nobody really knows for sure why, but right now there’s a very angry droid working in Jabba the Hutt’s palace on Tatooine.

“No, I do not want to hear about how your weekend went, Sleebo,” EV-6T9 was heard shouting at her co-worker today. “Who do I look like, my sister 9D9? She’s the one who likes office gossip and chit-chat, pal. I just want to log my shift hours, watch some fellow droids be disintegrated, and then go home, watch some Imperial Idol, fall asleep, and do it all again tomorrow.”

MORE: Bespin Tourism Board Warns Visiting Droids That Power Sockets Are Not Glory Holes

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About half an hour later, Hoar, the Gamorrean guard 6T likes probably the least out of all Jabba’s porcine protectors, really set her off.

“Are you seriously coming to me asking for an extra meal ticket after the boss specifically told everyone in the memo last week that that you all get one meal ticket per day,” 6T9 harangued Hoar. “Every one of you guys thinks you’re special. But guess who has to reconcile the books each week and explain to the big slug up there why he’s spending five times as much as he’s budgeted on employee meals.”

EV-6T9 has been the head of life form resources at Jabba’s palace for quite some time. Some who work there feel that she’s become more irascible and cantankerous over time. No one has quite been able to figure out what caused her circuits to flutter quite so much today though.

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“OH GREAT! Who switched the hydraulic fluid to decaf? What kind of person even wants decaf hydraulic fluid,” 6T shouted. “It’s bad enough working here with all you smelly jerks, but now I gotta try to get through en entire shift on decaf hydraulic fluid? Cut me a break, would ya?”

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MORE: “That Son of a Sith Cut My Arm Off!” An Exclusive Interview With a Wampa


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.