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Monday, August 2, 2021

Dear Abbi-Wan: How Do I Get People to Stop Calling Me the C-Word?

This week’s letter comes from someone who is sick and tired of being called the c-word, and in order to move and forward in his life, he’s hoping I can help him convince everyone to stop calling him that word.

Dear Abbi-Wan,

For the longest time, I never minded if someone called me the c-word. Heck, I was proud to be a c-word, because

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it meant that I was one of millions of c-words who were bonded not just by our shared DNA, but by our devotion to the cause we were literally born to fight — and if necessary, die — for. I was then, and in some ways will always be, a proud c-word.

However, I am ready to move on, and as such, I really want people to stop calling me the c-word. For starters, I’m not even sure how many of my brothers are even out there anymore. Secondly, we all deserve to live our lives in the ways we choose, c-word or not, and when people call me the c-word, I think somewhere inside them, they think I don’t have the desire or the ability to be as free as I truly want to be.

Let’s face it, the simple truth is thanks to a certain war, the c-word is forever synonymous with death, destruction, deception, chaos, and the start of the Dark Times. Who in their right minds would want to admit to being a c-word in the c-word wars?

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At any rate, I think you understand now why I need your help, and I will be forever grateful if you can help me find a way to accomplish my objective. Not just for me, but for my BROTHERS!

Signing Off,

Exhausted on Seelos

 

Dear Exhausted,

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It sounds like you’re someone who’s used to taking directions and following them. Sure, I could lay out for you exactly what you need to do, and I bet you would follow my instructions to the letter. But, well, Exhausted, isn’t that part of the problem? If I just go and tell you how to fix your problem, will you really be taking agency over your own actions and identity, or will you just, once more, be following orders?

I’m sorry, Exhausted, but I just think I’d be doing you too much a disservice to tell you what to do in this case. You’ve fought so hard for so long to have your own space, your own life. What kind of a-hole would I be to presume to tell you how to avoid being called the c-word?

The best advice I could give you is to keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually people won’t think of you just a c-word. They’ll think of you as a c-word with his own heart and mind.

In other words…chin up, c-word! It’ll all work out eventually.

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Abbi-Wan Yaknowbi is a Force-certified personal therapist and life coach. Abbi-Wan can be reached with your questions at [email protected]