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Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Galaxy Celebrates “Just Another Random, Meaningless Day” Day

It’s the fourth day of the fifth month, which of course means that across the entire known galaxy, stretching from the Core Worlds to the Outer Rim, where our corporate space conglomerate headquarters is located, there’s a celebration happening. Life forms big and small, young and old, Dark Side and Light Side, Rebel and Empire, and even Dune Supporters and Non-Transphobic Garbage People, are marking the day with tepid acknowledgements, and passing smirks, occasionally uttering something to the effect of, “Oh, that’s today then? Cool. Or whatever.”

That’s right, it’s Just Another Random, Meaningless Day today, and as happens on every other Random, Meaningless Day, there are mild forms of what some might almost recognize as “celebrations” taking place. None of those celebrations are all that special, very high budget, or even worth us sending someone out to document for this story. However, to be sure, because it’s Just Another Random, Meaningless Day, there are life forms in the galaxy doing something mildly fun to honor it.

MORE: Palpatine Commands Imperial March Played Before All Sporting Events

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Some of our readers sent us holocommunications and let us know what they were going to do on this Random, Meaningless Day. We decided that since we needed to run another a couple hundred words in this piece to justify publishing, that we’d be extra lazy and use mine those transmissions for content suitable for publication. Here are two curated examples.

“You know, I’ll probably just get in my cool AF ship with my furry AF friend, fly around this big AF galaxy hauling some contraband AF stuff in my cool but also fast AF ship, and, uh. I don’t know, maybe play some Sabacc or take a nap or something. We’ll see. I don’t have time to discuss this in committee though, so I’ll talk to you again real soon, I’m sure. Or not, if my luck holds.” – MFalcon1138

“I’ll probably just do something later with my son. You DO know I have a son, don’t you? I talk about him, like, ALL THE TIME when Lord Vader isn’t around. I don’t want to make him jealous. Anyway, he’s thinking about having a kid soon, and I just wanted to tell him I love that idea, and I hope it’s a girl. Because wouldn’t it just be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IF I HAD A GRANDAUGHTER ONE DAY?!” – IMTEHSenatez0rz

MORE: Without Explanation, Darth Vader Closes Every Beach in the Galaxy

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