- Advertisement -

Monday, August 2, 2021

The Super Duper High Ground, Mustafar’s First Legal Dispensary, Opens for Business

Across the galaxy, the recreational use of spice has been getting decriminalized by planet after planet after the Battle of Jakku decisively ended the Galactic Civil War. Within weeks of the signing of the treaty that officially ended the Empire’s efforts to crush the Rebel Alliance, system after system started to revoke and rescind numerous laws that Emperor Palpatine had passed during his reign.

Some of the first laws to be dismantled have been those that restricted the recreational use of spice. While Imperial prisons are being emptied of those who who were locked up for possession and even minor trafficking charges, new, legitimate businesses in emerging markets have started to open. Legal dispensaries — shops to buy spice that can be enjoyed recreationally, have been popping up all over the galaxy.

- Advertisement -

One such shop just opened up on Mustafar.

The Super Duper High Ground is a dispensary that, according to its business description “caters to spice users of all varieties.” The shop features numerous strains and varieties of spice, with nearly as many ways to enjoy it, such as with the new HIGHper Spaced brand of spice vapes. Shop owner Cheechin Chahng says he expects sales to be “brisk and continuous.”

- Advertisement -

“We know that Mustafar isn’t exactly on the way to very many destinations in the galaxy,” Chahng told us, “but we think our products, selection, and friendly staff of protocol droid spicetenders will draw many life forms from systems near and far to try our wares. Just wait until you get your hands on the Darth Vaper! We have a very good feeling about this.”

Mr. Chahng suggests that customers who come to Mustafar to visit The Super Duper High Ground try a new strain of spice he says will “knock them out of their flight suits.”

“You’ve got to try the Skywalker OG. It’s straight fire, yo! Whether you vape it or use it out of a traditional Hutt-style hookah,” Chahng said, “it’s a strain that’ll mess you up, from any certain point of view!”

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.