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Sunday, November 28, 2021

Traumatized Travelers Slap Class Action Against Star Tours Corporation

“They Promised Us a Peaceful Flight to the Endor Moon, But Flew Us Straight to Hell”

SPACEPORT THX1138 – The Star Tours corporation was hit today by a class action suit by thousands of travelers who claim the company endangered their lives. Citing untrained pilots, inept droid mechanics, and a horrible safety record, passengers say Star Tours must pay.

Passengers aboard this flight say they barely survived.

One terrified passenger who spoke on condition of anonymity said his flight went awry the moment he stepped aboard. “It was clear the droid flying didn’t know what they were doing. Shouldn’t have been flying. He flew us right into the middle of a war zone. They promised us a peaceful flight to the Endor Moon, but flew us straight into hell.”

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Another traveler claimed they were supposed to visit historic Bespin but found themselves being flown directly into an Imperial military facility.

”How many more families vacations will be ruined by this heartless corporation and their willingness to let untrained droids fly guests into an intergalactic travel nightmare?”

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The Star Tours corporation says it has investigated the complaints and deactivated the droids responsible. But victims say they saw at least one of the faulty pilots very much active, DJing at a cantina in Batuu.

Star Tours claimed this faulty droid was deactivated…
The same droid was spotted working in a Batuu cantina.

“This is not the first time they’ve done this. It’s happened thousands of times on thousands of flights. And if we don’t act now, Star Tours will keep flying people into dangerous war zones across the galaxy forever.”

MORE: “That Son of a Sith Cut My Arm Off!” An Exclusive Interview With a Wampa

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